Sometimes we get too deep into our own struggles that we begin to lose perspective. We keep trying and trying to make inroads, and we feel like we are spinning our wheels. When we are determined to improve ourselves or our circumstances, any pause or recalibration can feel like failure even if that is exactly what we need.
If we are lucky, every once in a while, life will toss something our way that forces us to pause, take a step back, and reassess what we need to do for ourselves. The rest of the time, though, we have to be able to identify when we need to hit that reset button.
I recently found myself in this exact situation. My anxiety was through the roof and was becoming more and more challenging to manage, and I was feeling like my household and kids were out of control. I was trying things haphazardly to try to bring things back together, but it was like putting a Band-Aid on the hull of a sinking ship. I began to feel like I had lost a sense of who I am as a person, and I realized that all of the Band-Aids in the world were not going to keep this ship afloat.
Out of desperation, I took a step back. This was against my better judgement at the time because it felt like failure, because I felt like I just needed to keep pressing on in order to gain some momentum and get back on an even keel. When I took that pause, I decided that I needed a reset. I decided I needed to clear away all of the noise, listen to my heart, and go from there.
For myself, I have slowly started adding things back into my life that make sense for me and are in line with who I am at my core. I have started going for walks in the woods each morning to start my day with a sense of calm and quiet that I have only ever been able to find in nature. I have started paying more attention to what I was putting into my body. While I definitely enjoy a “little treat” like everyone else, I realized that the way I was feeling physically afterwards was not nearly worth the short burst of dopamine it was giving me in the moment.
For my home and my kids, I have taken the same approach: I have cleared away the noise and started listening to my heart. If I want my kids to enjoy creativity, the outdoors, reading, and adventure, then their dad and I have to create an environment that supports those activities. If I want my kids to be kind and respectful toward others, then their dad and I have to be the ones to teach them those things (I know, not groundbreaking information here, but this thought has helped me shift my perspective). Technology in our household has been pushed to the back burner for now. The tablets and other games and devices no longer being an option has given our three kiddos the room to breathe life into other areas of interest. Rather than accepting rude or hurtful behavior from them, we have raised our expectations. The expectation now is kind and respectful behavior toward us and others, and I have found that on most occasions, they will rise to that expectation when we consistently provide them with the tools and guidance on how to do this. Does this take a lot more time and effort on our part? Right now, absolutely. Has this solved every struggle we have been having? Nope, but I can say that I see that things are improving.
Intentionally hitting that reset button has helped me come back to the things that are important to me and get myself back on the path I want to walk. If you’re feeling stuck right now, it might be a good time to take a step back and re-center yourself on the things that speak to your heart. Sometimes, the answer is simpler than what we try to make it.
-Pandora